Holy Frustration

 From Ignatian Solidarity Network author Elise Gower, 3/16/22:

"Today’s Gospel theme is frustration. The saying goes, “What would Jesus do?” ... I find myself pondering “What did the disciples do?” This helps me make sense of my human responses to things like the pandemics of racism and Covid, or my own resistance to growth and change. ... But, when I start with the disciples, I become aware that Jesus invites me to wholeness; to leadership.

I can feel the disciples’ frustration. They’re afraid. Jesus is not only sharing that he will die, but describes his pain, suffering and crucifixion. I imagine being a disciple, hearing this:  

I’ve left everything to follow this man—my job, my family, my comfort! And now, I’m going to lose him? And who is this mother making this request on behalf of her sons?! 

The passage says, “When the ten heard this, they became indignant.” Frustrated.

Jesus asks, “Can you drink the chalice that I am going to drink?” This is a big ask, knowing his impending execution—a death that holds the sin of a society that resists and terrorizes what they fear. We see this all too often. Suddenly, following Jesus takes on a whole new meaning. Am I willing to give of myself, completely, in response to the realities of our world today—not just when it’s comfortable or convenient? To lead is to act against the grain.

This Gospel offers a pretty profound definition of what this is—drinking from the same cup as Jesus. A cup of holy frustration. Drinking this cup demands a daily commitment; sometimes, minute by minute. It’s not performative allyship. It’s not the kind of advocacy that also ensures my privileges remain intact. It’s looking within before righteously blaming others. This Lent, will you drink this cup of holy frustration, to follow Jesus towards new life?

For Reflection: 

• Imagine yourself, a disciple in today’s society. What tires and frustrates you?
• What does drinking from the same cup as Jesus look like today?
• Where are you called to deepen your commitment? "

Humility Over Power & Reputation

 A Lenten reflection from the Ignatians:

"By Justin White

• Listen to today's reflection, read by the author

If you want a model of holy frustration…look no further than Jesus in today’s Gospel.

I don’t blame Him. If we turn our eyes and ears to Matthew Chapter 22 we see Jesus answering many questions from both the Sadducees and the Pharisees who had “plans to trap him in his words.”

Jesus sounds fed up with the trickery from the leaders not because of any ego or pride, but because He knows that the focus should be on the liberation of the people not the solidification of power and reputation.  

Power and reputation can be dangerous realities if not tempered with humility.

What if the Sadducees and Pharisees conspired to work with Jesus and not against him? What if they had allowed themselves to understand that Jesus was speaking on behalf of the same people that they vowed to teach, protect, and care for?

We’ve seen in our own times people advocating for themselves and others—only to have their lived experience questioned. “Come on Justin, do you really believe Black Lives Matter is helping?!” “Don’t talk to me about white privilege Justin, everyone struggles!” “Toxic masculinity…so I’m not supposed to be a male now?!” These are all recent questions that I’ve fielded and I felt trapped in my words.  

We lose so much when we deny the reality of another person’s lived experience because it challenges ours.

“Then what should we do Justin, what’s your answer?”

Jesus offers an answer—humility. Through humility we can fully listen, through humility we can experience a deeper conversion towards the Kingdom of God.

During this Lent, how can humility enter your life and create a new heart and a new spirit?"

Remembering 9/11 and What It Means to Us As Christians

 This is from a powerful sermon by Deacon David Rollandelli on 9/11/21 at St. Matthias in Redwood City CA.

"Sadly, twenty years on, that image seems a distant memory given the bitter divisions that plague us today, most prominently with the rise of white nationalism.  Indeed, President Bush would say, “There is little cultural overlap between violent extremists abroad and violent extremists at home.  But in their disdain for pluralism, in their disregard of human life, in their determination to defile national symbols, they are children of the same foul spirit.  And it is our continuing duty to confront them.”[i]

 

America has done great things—but also, not so great things, racism among them, and we must address our shortcomings.  It’s not about blame and shame but reality and responsibility—remembering the reality of our nation’s moral failures and accepting responsibility as a nation to rectify them, because that’s what a great nation does.

 

And that’s what we do as a people of faith—acknowledge where we fail God’s love, Christ’s call to discipleship in all its uncomfortable reality—and instead, hear the cries of the hurting and walk with them in their distress.  That’s what the words, “Do this in memory of me,” that we will hear shortly, mean—to remember Christ’s sacrifice on the cross and embrace it as our own.  May we always remember, remember, remember.

---

[1] Bush, George W., “Remarks by President George W. Bush at the Flight 93 National Memorial in Shanksville, Pennsylvania: Transcript of remarks from September 11, 2001 commemorating the 20^th anniversary of 9/11,” 9/11/2021  https://www.bushcenter.org/about-the-center/newsroom/press-releases/2021/09/remarks-president-bush-shanksville-9-11.html

Memory

 

Not my own reflection but one that I want to remember. This resonates with both those who have lost a loved one to death or to dementia as well as those of us who are simply aging and forgetful.

"So when St. Ignatius prays, “Lord, receive my memory,” I find this challenging—frightening even.

My grandmother had Alzheimer’s, as did my great-grandmother, and I watched their memories of me, their husbands, and their families fade. And I saw my friend, ladened with brain cancer, lose the sharpness that earned her a PhD.

Can I give these memories to God? Can I surrender even these treasured stories to him?

And yet…

It is God who gave me these stories, these memories. He gave me vision to see the world in a particular way. To see a story in even the most mundane of moments.

All was from God in the first place.

I would never have these stories were it not for God.

So I pray as St. Ignatius, that “all I have and call my own. You have given all to me. To you, Lord, I return it.”

Here is the entire post: Receive My Memory

Environmental Paralysis - and Hope for the Future

Yesterday I attended a session (1) entitled "Coming of Age at the End of the World: An Existential Toolkit for the Climate Change/COVID Generation" with Sarah Jacquette Ray, professor at CSU Humboldt in the sociology of climate change. She is the author of A Field Guide to Climate Anxiety .

Her college students co-opted her class with their many anxieties about a world they did not want to see themselves, or children to come, living in. They felt hopeless that most did not want to see or acknowledge the climate change data that inevitably points to degradation of the planet. A feeling shared by many older adults, such as me, who having been ringing the death knell of the planet since OUR college days.
My college days included much hope...for equality, that we'd be better off financially than our parents, that science would save the day. The reality for Gen Z (in the US), though, is not the same:

• - They graduate less financially secure - more college debt, lower lifetime salaries, no pensions.
• - Unprecedented online access...to bad news, too much information, too much distraction
• - More lonely, more likely to be suicidal (several of her students took their own lives)
• - Most stressed but least likely to vote (until 2020)
• - The models for climate future are terrible. Concurrently they are anxious about (and sometimes experiencing) hunger, homelessness, sexism, racism and apathy.
• - They feel the good they can do for the climate are vastly outweighed by the harm that they and others do to the environment. They feel they are past the point of no return.
• - 71%, since COVID-19, do not want to bring more children into the world
• BUT they...
• - Are the most ethnically diverse generation
• - Care greatly about climate change and social justice and the links between them
• - Are politically engaged at unprecedented levels

After acknowledging the depression/ennui/hopelessness of many in her classes she tries to move the mark by engaging them in imagining and being what it takes to thrive during change, rather than fear it. Develop a desire for, rather than fear of, the future. Some approaches include:

• - Seek joy in activism
• - Be less right and more in relation
• - Feelings and emotions are important so seek out trusted others who support and encourage you. We are not always aware that we are not acting alone. - find your peeps!
• - Become schooled in the role of emotions in climate justice work
• - Claim your calling and scale your action
• - Ditch guilt, move beyond hope and laugh more! Be joyful in your militancy!
• - Develop resilience - hope against all odds. Imagine hopeful futures. Accept less than perfect!
• - Find the power in story - hack the story! Realize that we can't act in a story of apocalypse.
• - Embrace life. Resist burnout (even though activists LOVE burnout).
• - We can't always see around the corner to the solutions that are in process

Solutions are no longer about more data; there is plenty but many do not respond to it.

• - Act in rational ways
• - Most Americans ARE concerned about the climate, across political boundaries
• - Feeling & emotions are important so many climate "deniers" need to hear confirmation about solutions from TRUSTED acquaintances that share their values.
• - For many the grief of the realities of inevitability climate change causes them to participate in non-sustainable distractions & actions that make things worse.
• - We must work on personal feelings as well as actions.
• - COVID anxiety is being heaped on top of climate anxiety.
• - We must flex the muscle of radical imagination. Imagine hopeful futures. Envisions what want to see then walk backwards to how to accomplish it.
• - "We can choose to walk through it, dragging the carcasses of our prejudice and hatred, our avarice, our data banks and dead ideas, our dead rivers and smoky skies behind us. Or we can walk through lightly, with little luggage, ready to imagine another world. And ready to fight for it." - Arundhati Roy (Author, "The Pandemic as a Portal")

Resources:
(1) Oklahoma Center for the Humanities Speaker Series
The Pandemic is a Portal: Creating a Just Future on Earth
"The Pandemic as a Portal" by Arundhait Roy
"The Unbelievable Weight of Climate Anxiety" Scientific American, April 2021

Christ has no body on earth but Mine

I need to be reminded that God is present even in my enemies (and those I don't hold in high esteem).

The words and experiences below are not mine but ones that resonated with me.

"St. Teresa of Avila (1515-82), the mystical doctor of the church who saw all things with the eye of her soul, famously wrote: "Christ has no body on earth but yours. Yours are the eyes with which he looks compassionately on this world. Yours are the feet with which he walks to do good. Yours are the hands with which he blesses all the world. Christ has no body now on earth but yours!"

This powerful truth of our oneness extends even to those we think of as enemies. We love our neighbor as ourself not just because Jesus taught us to do so but because our neighbor is us, and so we "bless those who curse us and pray for those who mistreat us" (Luke 6:28). There is no exception. "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another as I have loved you. By this all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another" (John 13:35).

I was privileged to attend a talk given by another Teresa — St. Teresa of Calcutta. I confess I don't remember anything she said — but I do remember well the simple gesture she extended to us at the beginning and the end of her presentation. She put her hands together at her forehead and bowed to us. Reverence for the presence of God."

https://www.ncronline.org/news/spirituality/soul-seeing/christ-has-no-body-earth-yours?fbclid=IwAR3q2L38pG3Db3zcd3-KIJfVsQSKORUM6w_RyrMdT806MLroM24HbGj5rro

Imagining God

We are taught that God has no real sex or form but that we imagine a physical God in our own image. Being Christian I was presented with the Trinity with a masculine Father (all powerful, protector, yet loving), Son (Redeemer & guide) and nebulously-sexed Holy Spirit (wisdom and emotional gifts).

I chose to imagine the Spirit as the feminine Sophia but have also added Mother (not Mary) to form a quartet; to the the Mother to whom I attribute the characteristics of Creator (since humans are birthed from women), nourisher & peacemaker (among other characteristics). Christianity was birthed at a time of patriarchy and social unrest and so the images of God reflected the times. We are now blessed with the knowledge of many saintly & powerful women (Phoebe, Joan of Arc, Hildegard of Bingen, Celeste Galileo, Catherine McAuley, St. Elizabeth and many more) and so my prayers now begin....In the name of the Mother, Father, Spirit & Son.

This mother's prayer below is lovely and I do not intend it to replace the Lord's prayer because that represents some different and important truths to my life. I do like this complementary prayer that recognizing another aspect of the holy Godhead.

Our narrative needs to be changed from the offensive taking of power from one group to another to a cooperative building up for the greater good. Here is an example of and eco group action in Iceland that did not harm humans

Reminder to Slow Down

Jesus taught me to try to slow down. He was not type A trying to visit as many countries as he could in three years. He stayed near home, directed but did not micromanage the apostles. He was mindful of the moment and did not attempt to control it. He did not force himself on those who did not want him around and spent time with those who invited him. The Spiritual Exercises are transformative; I was blessed that I was able to do them slowly over the course of a year, that was a true gift to Type A me. I pray that, if it be God’s will, each person who desires them will be presented an opportunity to participate in the Spiritual Exercises or spend a significant amount of time with their faith or spiritual tradition.

I still oftentimes go a million miles a minute but, frequently enough, I recognize the speed and give myself permission to skip a meeting or ignore an email imploring me to sign another petition. If I can't live up to my commitments I simply apologize and re-set the time frame; I give others permission to be late so that they will extend me the same courtesy.

I am still working on sitting down with my family and watching mindless TV just to be with them!

Hark the Herald, Angels Sing

December 20, 2014


The daily Advent reflection pamphlet tells the stories of Sampson and John the Baptist, two men whose lives were heralded to their parents by angels, were given a mission but but who both, ultimately, had violent deaths (Sampson in the temple of the Philistines, John by beheading).

Are angels still with us? What message from God have they brought? What mission is God asking of me through them and how will I use my gifts for that mission?

There is a culture of angel worship today that seems to supplant a direct relationship with God. Do we feel that we are not worthy of talking directly to God? Do we feel that angels are less demanding of us than God? (Ignorance is bliss?)


Angels in Hebrew & Christian Scripture

The word "angel", from the Greek angelos, etymologically means "one who is sent" or a "messenger."

I thought there were lots of kinds of angels but the Scriptures themselves are actually pretty sparse on them. We picture angels in flowing gowns but the Scripturally they are pretty strong.

Seraphim is translated as "fiery ones" with six wings that, as strong as they were, two pair were needed to cover their feet and eyes to protect them from the Presence of God. The other two were for flying - no time for harps, here. They would have lit up the stable/cave area and their attraction more like a searchlight and rock concert than chamber music.

Cherubim are guards and protectors so their depiction as helpless babies doesn't match up. They guarded the Tree of Life, with a flaming sword, and the Ark of the Covenant. Think of Indiana Jones as a Cherubim taking human form.

Turns out Archangels are not found in Hebrew Scriptures, only the New Testament which deemed Michael & Gabriel to be archangels, posthumously.


The responsibilities of the hierarchal choirs, powers, principalities, dominations, thrones are not biblically based but come from tradition. Considering the hierarchal nature of the many formal Christian denominations, & the desire to formalize dogma, since the 3rd century probably not all that surprising; it's fun to consider this hierarchy but I take it with a grain of salt.

Angels in Islam

Faith in the unseen world created by Allah is a required element of faith in Islam. Among the creatures of the unseen are angels. Some of the angels we think of specifically are given by name and responsibilities in the Koran, beliefs passed down through Abraham to Ismael. Angels, in Islam, are considered to be made from light but can take on a variety of forms and are all considered to be good because they serve Allah and they have no free free will to do otherwise. It is considered blasphemous to make images of angels in Islam:

• Jibreel (Gabriel) - in charge of communicating Allah's words to His prophets
• Israfeel (Raphael) - in charge of blowing the trumpet to mark the Day of Judgment 
• Mikail (Michael) - in charge of rainfall and sustenance 
• Munkar and Nakeer - after death, these angels will question souls in the grave about their faith and deeds 
• Malak Am-Maut (Angel of Death) - in charge of taking possession of souls after death 
• Malik - guardian of hell 
• Ridwan - guardian of heaven 

The Koran doesn't consider Iblis aka Shaytan (Satan) to be an angel but a disobedient jinn (demon); jinn have free will to disobey.

Where Humans Fear to Tread

Through my 12 years of Catholic schooling I learned much about angels, most of which is found in this compendium by Fr. Hardon which religion geeks like myself will appreciate if it is up your alley; you know who you are.




Personally I like shortcuts, so am content to bypass the angels and usually go straight to the Creator/Mother, Son and Spirit/Sophia for my spiritual sustenance . I am action driven though so do like the idea of an angel blowing a trumpet loudly in my ear and telling me to get off my bum and feed the hungry or welcome the stranger ....but sometimes, especially at Christmas, my softer side enjoys the of choirs of angels welcoming a little child.


Blessings of the Season to All.

Prayer for Financial Wisdom

I receive a daily scripture and prayer from this Financial Crisis Prayer Patrol. Today's prayer spoke to me directly in the role I take in advising others financially:

Scripture: Blessed is the one who finds wisdom, the one who gains understanding, for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold. -Prov. 3:13

Prayer: Lord, You are the God greatly feared in the counsel of the holy ones, and before You the angels cry Holy, Holy, Holy. There is no one else like You, a God of justice, compassion, and wisdom.

Lord, I come before You today in the midst of great uncertainty, with concerns about how to manage the affairs of this life. I thank You for Your invitation to come boldly before Your throne to receive help in times like these. You are my rock.

Show me Lord, the right choices to make at this time. Release to me Lord, Your divine wisdom. Help me move forward in confidence, and  enable me Lord to stand in faith and honor Your Holy name in this season. Open my mouth with wise counsel for others, and guide me Lord that I might be a blessing to those around me.

Lord, I need Your wisdom. There are many voices saying, “do this and do that,” but You are the One I look to. Guard me from deception and fear, and guide me with Your eye upon me. I choose to not lean on my own understanding, but I trust in You and I wait for Your counsel. Speak to me Lord, for I am listening. In Jesus name, amen.

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Do Not Fret

“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; 
do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; 
do not fret — it leads only to evil.
For evil men will be cut off, 
but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land.” -Psalm 37:7-9

Do Not Fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out wicked schemes. Such a difficult thing to do but one I will try and remember. Often we see these wicked schemes eventually fail as people boycott the products or the processes... much better than attacking. Making someone's idea or product irrelevant by not buying into it, injures their feeling of power as much as their pocketbook.

The ranchers and Native Americans have just joined forces to protest the XL Pipeline. God works on her own timeline.

The Middle East

Though I am a pacifist and discourage economic development through the defense/offense industries of this country, I have several family members whose livelihoods are in the military and who are also on a first name basis with their maker. I yearn for their safety and pray that their service may be that which builds up all God's children; I know that many armed service activities revolve around rebuilding rather than destroying.

 I pray for wisdom for our president and military commanders that they first seek diplomatic solutions over destructive ones.I also struggle to remember to pray and so I have subscribed to two Prayer Patrol's that remind me daily. This is today's Baghdad Prayer Patrol prayer and I want to remember it:

"Right now we want to stand with our brothers and sisters in Iraq, and we want to ask for a wave of divine help as they begin to rebuild their nation. Extend your favor in a special way over your children, as they step forward to see your Presence and blessing be sown into the foundation stone.Give them courage, to go and do and say; give them peace to wait and trust and persevere; give them strength and vision to bring about the patterns, plans and purposes of your heart in their land.Thank you Lord, that when we approach your throne of grace, that you have promised to release your grace and mercy to help in time of need; shower Iraq with fresh rain, release healing winds and the dawn of new things. We declare that the earth is the Lord’s, and we bless the strategic nation of Iraq in Jesus name. Amen."

Our enemy is not Islam but radical fundamentalist's of any faith whose views exclude from eternal salvation anyone that does not believe exactly as they do. I pray for these men (yes predominantly men) and few women that their hearts may be softened and that they may come to seek to build rather than destroy. That they will come to a vision of heaven that includes all of Allah's children.

Throw Off the Works of Darkness

On the first Sunday of December we're in Buffalo NY, visiting, and by chance I attended mass at Blessed Sacrament. First Sunday of Advent, days getting shorter, the city naturally rainy and often dark. Due to nearby Niagara Falls though, it was one of the first major cities to have hydroelectric power and a well developed grid and called itself the City of Light and it plugs on with resilience even as it deals with many ills of being in the Rust Belt. I did have many "moments of light" as we enjoyed the hip Elmwood District, distinctive architecture, a wedding and being with family.

Though the decision to walk to Mass was last minute, the sermon written was not and the priest had an inspired cadence that led me to pull out my pen and take notes, herewith:

The first reading from Isaiah 2 is one of my favorites:
"They shall beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks; one nation shall not raised their sword against another, nor shall they train for war again"

The second reading, from Romans 13: 11-14
"It is the hour for you to awake from sleep. Our  salvation is nearer now than when we first believed; the night is advanced, the day is at hand. Let us throw off the works of darkness and put on the armor of light. Let us conduct ourselves properly as in the day... Put on the Lord Jesus Christ"

Notes:
Take off the clothing of darkness...
...of lying
...of criticism
...of labels
each is a form of taking up a weapon, be they of the tongue rather than tangible.

Put off the need to earn God's love which is freely given.

Put on the armor of light (Hanukah started on Thanksgiving this year and it's lighting each year is a symbol of light, openness, pride of doing right)

Put on the white robes of baptism, we will will be hearing the story of John the Baptist in the weeks to come and should be preparing ourselves for the cleansing of the Saviour to be born.

What are our defenses against the darkness, our armor of light?

• Truth
• Readiness
• Word of God
• Ready prayer
• Kindness
• Bear with one another
• Love

I just found these notes a couple days before the New Year but these words helped me to have a wonderful and relatively relaxing advent focused more on the people in my life rather than the acquisition of gifts, overdecorating. I even let holiday events come to me rather than trying to press my family into activities they did not want to do (for the most part!).

Thank you Lord for being with me and holding my seasonal darkness at bay. 

Seeing God's Plans

Yesterday I "lost" a friend, Irene, to cancer. While not BFF, I admired and enjoyed her company, mostly in all things Girl Scouts but also when we encountered at the store or July 4 parades where she faithfully marched with both the Girl Scouts AND the Stanford Marching Band, purple hair and all. While I believe her to be a woman of faith, her church was people and their care, not an intentional faith community.  She recognized stragglers who needed "another" mother and cared for them as for her own daughter. I know she is at peace with the Lord right now.

"We know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose...What then shall we say to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? Romans 8:28, 31

A Prayer for Discernment

Grant me, O Lord, to see everything now with new eyes, 
to discern and test the spirits
that help me read the signs of the times,
to relish the things that are yours, and to communicate
them to others.
Give me the clarity of understanding that you gave Ignatius.

--Pedro Arrupe, SJ.

Centering Prayer "Blessed are the poor in spirit

Again from Basil Pennington’s “Centering Prayer”

To maintain an unceasing recollection of God, this formula must be ever before you: “O God, come to my assistance; O Lord, make haste to help me”...

Perhaps wandering thoughts surge about my soul like boiling water, and I cannot control them, nor can I offer prayer without its being interrupted by silly images. I feel so dry that I am incapable of spiritual feelings, and many sighs and groans cannot save me from dreariness. I need to say “O God, come to my assistance; O Lord, make haste to help me.”

The mind should go on grasping this formula until it can cast away the wealth and multiplicity of other thoughts...and so it will attain with ease that Gospel beatitude which holds first place among the other beatitudes: “Blessed are the poor  in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven”

Meditation:  I can so relate to the boiling water and silly images ... it is so hard to clear my mind of words, images, sounds. I started thinking about what it must have been like to be the first cave woman and have a baby. I had no words, I did not have a to do list that included bills, internet, car schedules. I had only food to pick, a baby to keep safe and feed. I had time to observe, see and listen to the bugs, birds, plants,  animals.  The Spirit was wind, water and fire only for I had no words  or reasons to conceive of a 3 person God.   Those complex societal problems that necessitated Jesus’ coming did not yet exist.

Spirit, help me let go of all the clutter and information that I no longer need and trust that you will provide whatever is needed to do your will. May I be poor in spirit and being.